Uprooting the seeds of upset – sowing the seeds of …. well whatever you want

Uprooting the seeds of upset – sowing the seeds of …. well whatever you want

Have you ever found yourself upset?


Of course not! 🙂 Especially around the Holidays…. right? Even when we seek to relax and have fun, share love with our friends and families, we seem to trip over frustrations, expectations and even some disappointments.

Jenny said to me (Jenny is a dear friend), “Why can’t people just make a commitment and keep

it? Don’t they know that when they change their plans it messes with my plans?”

I learned a long time ago that there are really only three causes of upset:

  1. Unrealized Expectation
  2. Thwarted Intentions
  3. Undelivered Communication

When we are very upset, often it’s all three at work. Jenny had invited a friend to join her for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. At the last minute, the friend backed out. Jenny’s expectations were not being realized, and her intention to share the holiday with her friend were being thwarted both. But Jenny was smart, she realized she was feeling badly about it – and she respectfully delivered a communication about how she felt.

That act – that single powerful act – shifted everything for her.

Jenny’s next brilliant move was to make agreements – rather than have expectations.


In your Holiday Time – where can you make agreements instead of simply having expectations? Expectations that may or may not be filled? How can making agreements help you stay on track with your intentions?


In making agreements – you MUST be in communication, right?


Try it out – see if that small shift makes a huge difference!


What can be exponentially better in 2015 with agreements, rather than expectations?

Where can you identify one of the three seeds of upset, and sow instead, seeds of connection, achievement, joy and indeed, extraordinary leadership?


To your continued amazingness,






© 2014 Focused Leadership Consulting and Lisa E. Hale, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.






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