How Our Stories Change Our Reality

How do the stories you tell yourselves about your life shape your reality? Read on to learn how a simple story could be uplifting or restricting. …

It’s 6:47 am at the family dining table – Thursday morning. 12-year old twin boys eating breakfast, mom drinking tea.

Jason says, “I think I’d be a really good architect.”

Mom, “I bet you would!”

Jason thinks for a moment and then says, “but I’m not very good at math – so maybe I can’t do that”

** sigh **

I mean, REALLY heavy sigh.


Truth v. Fiction

Mom (that’s me) is thinking, boy this kid has been running this racket all his life – and what a bunch of baloney! But what to do? Then I think about his twin – Kevin – who is all boy, gentle, sensitive, funny, strong, confident, brilliant, an extraordinary student, and very happy.

(I guess that could be nauseating if you’re the brother-eh!?)

The thing is that Jason is all those things too – except for confident.

So I remembered a story and I shared it with the boys:

“Hey guys, have you ever heard this story?

When You two were about 3 and Ivan, (their big brother) was 8, you boys, and your Dad and I were in the car for a little road trip.”

“To keep Ivan busy, we were quizzing him on simple 3rd grade math problems – you know, like 100 ÷ 20 and 3 × 6 and so on.  We’d played this game before – and so when Kevin popped out the first answer – we thought he had memorized the answer and gotten lucky.”

“But after he got the right answer 10 times in a row before Ivan did, we began to wonder if he was one of those savants or something.” (Turns out, he isn’t).

Turns out, he is just truly gifted in math.


Comparison is Suffering

You see, Jason is good at math – really good at it. But he perceives himself as not good at it, because Kevinn is better at math than he is. …  OY!

I continued with the story to say.

You see Kevin, Jason, what’s interesting about all this is that two years later, when you guys were both in Kindergarten – at the first parent teacher conference, Kevin’s teacher told me, “he’s a nice kid, well-behaved, a little shy and quiet, but he is doing well.” And Jason, your teacher began the conference with this, “Jason is gifted, you need to get him evaluated.”

I let that sink in a bit – and then I asked Jason, “Is Ivan tall?” (He is 6’1”).

Of course, Jason said, Yes.

How about Michael Jordan (6’6”) is he tall? Well, YA (really mom, duh).

How about Shaquille O’Neal? Have you ever seen Michael Jordan stand next to Shaq? Shaq’s 7’1”!!!! Makes Jordan look short doesn’t he?

Yes, Mom – I know.

Did you know that Michael Jordan is 4 INCHES taller than Isaac is?

That stopped him – he thought about that.

Can you imagine how short Isaac would look next to Shaq?

Meanwhile, I could see Kevin furiously focused on his cereal hiding his grin. He was loving it – because if there is anything worse than being jealous of your brother, it is being the brother that your brother is jealous of.

I said to Jason, Listen son, comparing yourself in math to Kevin is like calling Ivan short next to Shaq. It’s just his natural gifting. You are very very good at math – and certainly good enough at math to be anything you want to be – an architect, physicist, engineer – whatever you want!


Are you Enough?

Jason’s face was flushed, and he wore a small smile. I thought perhaps the message was sinking in.

Here’s the coolest part – that day, Jason had some math evaluations that I did not even know about. He got perfect scores on all of them!

How we show up in the world really is created from the inside out. Sometimes our children are the best reminders of that!

I wonder for you, Is your inside game creating the outside reality you truly want?

If not, what reality are you committed to? What is the narrative you need to weave to create it? Take our quiz to see where you are in your life plan. It’s free. LINK

Send me a message – I want to hear about your vision.



PS: The twins are in college now – and both at the best research institute in the world. Jason’s confidence is high, Kevin’s relationship with his brother is relaxed, and Ivan is still awesome and still tall – but not as tall as Shaq!


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